My wife and my toys

aktiger · Post by **aktiger** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 1:14 pm

I guess it's true, misery loves company.

My case is similar to most...grew up collecting, playing with, and breaking GI Joe's and firebombing model airplanes (M-80's work best). My mother threw EVERYTHING out (including my military and superhero comic book collection) when I was a preteen (I was gone for a week...she said I didn't need that trash...oh, but she kept the Archie and Ritchie Rich comics!).

I obviously harbored resentment over the event and the latent resentment manifested itself when I found out I was having boy during my wifes first pregnancy. 21st century 1/6th figures came first, followed by 1/18. My wife hated it right from the beginning. Adding smaller scales (1/32 and 1/72) didn't make things better (although they are easier to hide and sneak around). I figured she might accept smaller scales because they would be less threatening. WRONG!

I have come to the same conclusion that some of you have also come to... don't even ask... just buy it, hide it, and take the flack if she finds it. If you ask before hand you get the double dose of anger before you get it ("go ahead, you will just buy it anyway! ") and after you get it ("I don't see why you need this! Don't you have enough of these things!").

I've tried the bit about the "other hobbies" but it never stuck. It would just be another challenge for my wife to "change me" from my childish ways.

Although one positive note, I now have three boys and I am fully immersed into my second childhood.
Damn the torpedoes and full steam ahead....

STUKA · Post by **STUKA** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 1:39 pm

One year long ago - while I was away at Summer Camp - my mom had a garage sale - Out went the Starwars falcon, Jawa Crawler, AT-AT, AT-ST, Y-Wing, and transformers. Lost a good many GiJoe vehicles too - I was 16.

Later when I had a car and job - .......

Jay · Post by **Jay** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 2:03 pm

*raises a glass* "To all you attached men......cheers!"

Threetoughtrucks · Post by **Threetoughtrucks** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 2:03 pm

To be honest with you guys (after all, who lies on the net?)........

Since I've been in the wilds of Souse Jersey, since last tear, I've maintained two households, one with me here and another for the wifey in the Isle of Staten. She wants continue to work (the basta**ds gave her a raise when I told her to retire, in November) and she only spends weekends here with me. The lady is money hungry and doesn't work hard..... It's almost like baching it for me.

Best part? Being able to buy what I want and the wifey isn't around when Philly the UPS guy and Lynnie the FEDEX person comes rolling up.

Separate checking accounts solve any nosey impulses. She gets to look at the joint but not my net/toy account in my name only. That started 30 years ago when I wanted to hide....errr, keep private, money I spent on my 1/1 trucks. Works great.

Being married for 37 years (to the same wifey) means she can say what she wants when she notices new toys (she never notices 1/18 toys or 1/6 dollies, its only a new truck or tank in 1/6 that is very hard to miss) BUT I can just zone her out, smiling and all I hear is BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.....
she does the same when I talk politics, or history.... her eyes glaze over and I just know all she is hearing is BLAH, BLAH

A match in heavan.

TTT

aktiger · Post by **aktiger** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 2:15 pm

BUT I can just zone her out, smiling and all I hear is BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.....

LOL

That's great...reminds me of Charlie Brown "Wa, Waa, Waa, Waaa, Waaa.....".

Forward Observer · Post by **Forward Observer** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:19 pm

When we were dating, my first wife thought that my collecting of guns, militaria, and models was charming. She even bought me a couple of things for birthdays and Christmas. That only lasted while we were dating and maybe the first year or two of our marrage.

That all soon changed, and suddenly my hobbies were stupid and eventually some sort of huge detriment to our relationship. It made no difference that I wasn't even collecting anything by that time.

The bottom line was that she was just looking for excuses to split and that was one of them.

My second wife didn't seem to mind my collectiong too much; it's just that she felt that if I spent $40 on a model, PC game, or such that she was justified in spending $120 or more on shoes, handbags, or new clothes.

Every closet in our 4 bedroom house was filled with clothes, handbags, and shoes that she either never worm or had worn no more than once.

She'd have at least two garage sales a year and sell all of it off for pennies on the dollar to make room for more. The woman was 10 times as bad spending money like this as any hobby nut you will ever know.

When she and I split, I absolutely amazed at the extra money I had left after each paycheck. Consequently, I was able to retire almost 5 years earlier than expected, and now I am able to collect again.

All I can say is: I might add that I absolutely love living alone.

Cheers

Edit to remove offensive statement

olifant · Post by **olifant** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 5:11 pm

All I can say is: Women! If they didn't have three holes they'd be worthless. I might add that I absolutely love living alone.

Ouch!

My wife doesn't get my hobby but I wouldn't put her in the three holes catagory!

Quixote511 · Post by **Quixote511** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 6:23 pm

My wife is really tolerant; hell, she even buys stuff for me. All I really have to do is not display them on the dining room table

STUKA · Post by **STUKA** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 6:49 pm

holensock · Post by **holensock** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 6:50 pm

I also found out that it's easier to ask for forgiveness AFTER you buy it than it is to ask for permission TO buy it

dfoos · Post by **dfoos** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 5:06 am

HA HA HA HA, God, I'm glad I'm not the only one. I know these stories sooooooo well. Especially the sneaking it in later. If I get caught, I say, "Honey, I bought that weeks ago, I just forgot it was in the trunk." I don't think she buys that though.

CW4USARMY · Post by **CW4USARMY** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:11 am

I'm lucky enought to have a wife who lets me buy and admire my "toys" . In fact, she is making a run to Targets this morning for me to see if she can find any of the WWII stuff. As long as I contain the "stuff" to my man-room, she dont mind. The only time she gets a little frustrated is during those rare times that a lot of new product is out there and the boxes keep coming in. But that rarely happens in our hobby these days

tankgirl33 · Post by **tankgirl33** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 8:00 am

Forward Observer wrote:All I can say is: Women! If they didn't have three holes they'd be worthless. I might add that I absolutely love living alone.

Hey! That's not very nice. There are females on here you know.

You just haven't met the right gal yet, I hope someday you do.

I'm pleasantly surprised to read how many wives actually support you fellas, I don't think it's fair to spend 500 dollars on a rug for the house but complain about a 40 dollar toy purchase. I would never keep tosborne3 from buying stuff because I don't want to him to keep me from buying clothes and shoes! And I like the 32X stuff, which I want to get more of. But I think a lot of wives treat their husbands like kids other than spouses. And that's not fair. As long as our bills are paid, I don't care what he buys.

parrish333 · Post by **parrish333** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 8:53 am

tankgirl33 wrote:
Forward Observer wrote:All I can say is: Women! If they didn't have three holes they'd be worthless. I might add that I absolutely love living alone.
Hey! That's not very nice. There are females on here you know. You just haven't met the right gal yet, I hope someday you do. I'm pleasantly surprised to read how many wives actually support you fellas, I don't think it's fair to spend 500 dollars on a rug for the house but complain about a 40 dollar toy purchase. I would never keep tosborne3 from buying stuff because I don't want to him to keep me from buying clothes and shoes! And I like the 32X stuff, which I want to get more of. But I think a lot of wives treat their husbands like kids other than spouses. And that's not fair. As long as our bills are paid, I don't care what he buys.

Yeah, that was a low blow Forward Observer. Hopefully you'll find the right lady that you won't say that about

Women can be frustrating, but no more than we are to them all in all. It's when mine is gone for a week that I remember how much I need and appreciate her. Or when I was puking my guts out from food poisoning and she nursed me back to health.

As tankgirl mentioned, it's great to hear there are some wives/girlfriends who are pretty understanding about our little hobby. Maybe they should start a support group for dealing with us

. Mine is pretty supportive generally (Heck, she even helped me with design of a recently constructed 1:18 building!). I certainly don't hide things from her as for me that would make for a pretty rank situation for either of us to be hiding anything regularly. I do understand not everyone's situation is that simple.

My collection is pretty much confined to the basement, and when it creeps too much into the rest of the house, she just reminds me that our deal is that I can have a whole upstairs room for the stuff as soon as I buy her a bigger house with more bedrooms. Fair I suppose.

Her tolerance for talking about it is about like my tolerance for hearing her go on and on about babies - neither of us REALLY enjoy it, but we put up with it and entertain it for awhile for the other person's sake. Kind of like movie nights -- Live Free Die Hard one night followed by The Notebook the next

Threetoughtrucks · Post by **Threetoughtrucks** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 8:53 am

I am with Tankgirl on FO's snide comment. I feel Foward Observer was out of line. This board is not a bunch of "good ol boys" sitting around telling stories about what their ex-wifes did to them. We do have families here and the comment was not appropriate for a board devoted to toys and dollies.

TTT

Jay · Post by **Jay** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 3:39 pm

Dude! *shakes head*

aktiger · Post by **aktiger** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:31 pm

We do have families here and the comment was not appropriate for a board devoted to toys and dollies.

LOL

Oh..wait a minute maybe you were serious

olifant · Post by **olifant** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 7:53 pm

I think I have the best "caught with my pants down" moment on the forum. About four years ago I promised my Mother that I would paint her house. I left my graveyard shift job early because I was feeling pretty crappy, but then decided not too crappy to look for toys!

I went out of my way to a WM (Spanaway for the locals) to buy the paint because it was out of my way. I was lucky enough to find the mother load of the then new 1/32 PzIVs, Wirblewinds and Mobelwagons. I really loaded up along with something like 20 gallons of paint. I drove a back way home (through Yelm), hit a patch of ice and put my six month old SUV off the road sideways. I think I rolled/flipped the thing like four or five times! All the five gallon buckets of paint punched out the side windows while the one gallon cans rattled around the inside blowing open and covering EVERYTHING with paint. I came to a stop with the rear view mirror about an inch from my nose. Very lucky.

I had to call the cops, tow truck and wife at midnight. The entire area was covered with paint and everyone who came near the wreck was painted from the waist down from walking through the brush. I was sick and freezing (it was February) and the cop didn't even offer to let me sit in his car! Can't blame him.

Long story short, truck was totalled so the next day we went to the wrecking yard and scene of the accident to grab what we could salvage. All I could think of is my tanks and how I was going to be soooo busted. I did find them and all made it through OK (no more MIB with the paint) but I got off the hook only through the sympathy card. Luckily my wife loves me enough that her first concern was if I was OK. I never even caught grief over the accident and the money/trouble it cost us.

I married a great gal.

Forward Observer · Post by **Forward Observer** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 8:18 pm

tankgirl33 wrote:
Hey! That's not very nice. There are females on here you know. You just haven't met the right gal yet, I hope someday you do. I'm pleasantly surprised to read how many wives actually support you fellas, I don't think it's fair to spend 500 dollars on a rug for the house but complain about a 40 dollar toy purchase. I would never keep tosborne3 from buying stuff because I don't want to him to keep me from buying clothes and shoes! And I like the 32X stuff, which I want to get more of. But I think a lot of wives treat their husbands like kids other than spouses. And that's not fair. As long as our bills are paid, I don't care what he buys.

I apologize for the remark. I should have kept it to myself an not posted it to a public board.

I'd just been in contact with my 2nd ex-wife early this week. We had not been in contact over 6 months, but she called to tell she was broke and needed some money.

Like a fool, I sent her a couple of hundred, but the more I thought about it later in the week, the madder I got. That money would have been put to better use if I had given it to a crack-head. That was on my mind when I posted.

Anyway, at 62 years of age, I don't really need to find the right "gal" unless I find one that terminally ill and worth millions. Yes, I am an old curmudgeon, and I like it that way.

--but I do promise to try use moderation in the sexist level of my posts in the future.

Once again, I apologize for posting the remark.

RA5BS · Post by **RA5BS** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 9:15 pm

I feel I ought to chime in on this topic as it is pertinent to the relationship I have with my wife. She does not care for my toy collection and believes I ought to grow up- at least that is the vibe I get because it has become a verboten subject at our place- one of many we do not talk about. But if my perception is right, I have to wonder how much more grown up I can get at 49, into the 25th year of our marriage. It is a contentious issue. Not even the knowledge that some of what I've collected may actually be worth something someday saves me from having a verbal swipe or three sent my way. Of course my wife is not deprived in the material goods department. She gets her stuff. I've sent her on cruises and trips to perfidious Albion (England). Doesn't matter. She has to be stuck with a knucklehead hanging out in various toy departments looking for XD. This is all part/ parcel of the roughest patch the pair of us have traversed since we hooked up and it is an open question if we will be together much longer. Granted, the toys aren't the real issue here but they are a powerful symbol of what pushes us apart.
Now having said all that, here is the crazy part...I still very much love my wife. Probably always will. So I guess I AM a knucklehead after all. Maybe I should have a "save our marriage sale" on eBay. It could work.

dfoos · Post by **dfoos** » Sat Jan 12, 2008 1:10 am

My wife thinks the toys and games are pretty silly and she has asked several times over the years why don't I get a "normal" hobby. I just got a older Mustang project car back in August and now she's eating her words!!! I may spend hundreds on Models and Minis, but the thousands that go into restoring and fixing up a sports car...

AlloySkull · Post by **AlloySkull** » Sat Jan 12, 2008 1:46 am

I may not have a wife, yet, at 19, but my mom sure does give me hell. She calls it crap, says it's unhealthy. Blames it on my dad, (they're divorcing, my dad lives somewhere else) says he lets me get into "unhealthy" hobbies. Collecting military items, uniforms, patches, helmets, etc, unhealthy? I've spent probably less than $250 on my whole lot of militaria. How much has she spent on shoes? But she claims it's "different" than toys and useless crap.

She's just cold and that's that. If I started sewing (which I sew some of my patches on myself) as a full-time hobby she'd probably throw a fit because I'd be using her thread. It's always something. I'm 19, have had nothing but bad relationships and even some friendships with women.

I don't see how collecting toys and military stuff is worse than what I used to do. I say if it makes you happy, do it. For God's sake, it's a free country. If someone wants to collect ham sandwiches half-eaten by Tom Cruise, then they have that right.

I hate the feeling that I don't live in America. Being told what to do to assist you in making your life better is one thing, but being told to do something when it's just going to be a waste of time, or worse impede your progress... is stupid.

I can't way to move out, have my own place for my stuff... Put my F-4 Phantom on my coffee table...

VMF115 · Post by **VMF115** » Sat Jan 12, 2008 1:57 am

The remark that Forward Observer wrote should be removed and all of those that quoted him should do the same. The edit function is a wonderful tool

My computer is in the dinning room and my girl friend was looking over my shoulder and seen what was written by Forward Observer.
I GOT SMACKED on the back of the head she said “I thought the SCMHQ did not participate in that kind of activity” I said "we do not do that kind of activity."

As for Forward Observer your apology is accepted and noted.
So my g/f asked to write this out , it should also be noted that my collecting military toys almost came to a scratching halt because of his statement …..I had to plead bag and grovel to keep my hobby alive….

VMF115 · Post by **VMF115** » Sat Jan 12, 2008 2:08 am

AlloySkull wrote:
I can't way to move out, have my own place for my stuff... Put my F-4 Phantom on my coffee table...

I just hope your friends respect your property , I found out after I moved out and was on my own that so called friends don’t respect property especially during parties.