The Book Of Walton

VMF115 · Post by **VMF115** » Wed Mar 28, 2007 12:12 am

Those Brothers and Sisters that do not live in the land of WM are allowed to purchase XD from evilbay and other merchants. Thou are not ridiculed for this.

Those Brothers and Sisters that aid those that live out side the land of WM in acquiring XD at a fair price are considered righteous and devoted followers of XD.

Those Brothers and Sisters that charge an unfair price to those that do not dwell in the land of XD are considered heretics.

(Leviticus from Walton, 2: 4-6)

tmanthegreat · Post by **tmanthegreat** » Wed Mar 28, 2007 12:24 am

Thy Wal Mart cashiers shall go on break and closeth their register whilst thou still waiteth in line. They will care not, for proper service is blasphmey among those heathen employees.

(Exodus from Walton 3 : 1-2)

Moth · Post by **Moth** » Wed Mar 28, 2007 12:32 am

Thou shall not slaughter or pilage the Walmart employees, no matter how clueless and naive they are when they are asked, "Shall Walmart receive another shippment of BF-109 G-6's". It is futile, they will never comprehend anything that consists of two letters, and three numbers.

Book Of Walton, page 122

BTW, who is Walton?

tmanthegreat · Post by **tmanthegreat** » Wed Mar 28, 2007 9:34 am

Moth wrote:BTW, who is Walton?

"Walton" is Sam Walton, the guy who founded Wal Mart in 1962, and whose company is now working to kill off capitalism as we know it

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wal-Mart

VMF115 · Post by **VMF115** » Wed Mar 28, 2007 9:51 pm

here are some books

The book of STUKA
the book of FieroDude
The book of Razor17019
The book of grunt1
The book of tmanthegreat
The book of VMF115
The book of Prophecies by the Prophet Zachary

VMF115 · Post by **VMF115** » Wed Mar 28, 2007 10:49 pm

The book of walton's creation chapter 2

In the beginning before there was XD

Before XD was created the lord Sam Walton spoke to his loyal followers “Go forth and multiply the stores so that there are many and so they may crush the heathen stores and become the alpha omega discount stores in all of the lands.

The he created the first of his creations the WM taskmaster who oversees all in the store and he said “Go forth and crush the merchant’s sprit” by offering items at a gigantic discount that the other much smaller lords of commerce could not compete with. ” He commanded to his WM taskmasters.

Then he created the assistant taskmaster who’s job was to enforce the laws of lord Walton and to carry out the tasks created by the WM task master.

After that Lord Walton created the department taskmasters who’s job was to follow the laws set forth by Lord Walton and to carry out the tasks set fourth by the WM Taskmaster and the assistant Task masters, for they are mindless creatures that know nothing.

The lord Walton then need a way to collect taxes and then created the WM Tax collector
Whose job was to bring capital in to the land of WM, don’t ask them for anything for they are imbeciles.

Then the Lord Walton created the task laborer they are the lowest in the hierarchy and are mindless creatures, don’t ask them for they are imbeciles.

Then the Lord Walton created the simple creature whose job was too greet the worshipers of Lord Walton, don’t ask them for anything for they are imbeciles.

Then the lord Walton realizing that he created a large empire that he could not exert control over.
He then created the district taskmaster who was over seen by the regional taskmaster, their obligation was to over see all the creatures that Lord Walton created and to make sure that they follow the law of Walton

Lord Walton realizing he was not quit done, then created the chaotic distribution of merchandise centers this was done to please his sense of humor.

He then proclaimed I am the lord my ways shale not is questioned
He then relaxed.

STUKA · Post by **STUKA** » Wed Aug 15, 2007 7:31 pm

another round

Col.Pickle · Post by **Col.Pickle** » Thu Aug 16, 2007 8:09 am

These are great!

Razor17019 · Post by **Razor17019** » Thu Aug 16, 2007 9:39 am

RETURN OF TRU
Verily, verily I say, the keeper of XD shall be challenged by TRU. TRU, having lost faith in XD, clearanced and gave XD to all the people for up to 90% off at a time long ago.
But ye that had little faith shall rise up again with a new wave of harvest for all those that are enlightened by the SSHQ that have pounded thou ground in vain for XD.
TRU, whose computers sayith, "40th PAK of Hanomag - NOT FOUND" and the uninformed workers of the TRU sayith, "You may have thou tank for 14 ducits and 99 cents" and the people cheerith much.
Low, thou that programith the computer does findith the correct price of 29 ducits and 99 cents and the computer does not sayith the incorrect price again. Low, the people still cheerith for thou gift, but not at the correctedith price.

BBI
But yet another rival of XD has comeith to the valley of the shadow of the mall. I will fearith not. But count thee lucky at thy bounty. BBI thus showith itself as one large Black Hawk and A patche at the site of the Target. Target shelves are with color of the rainbow of modern warriors.

With TRU and Target filled with thy bounty, we give thanks and are overjoyed. For we, the enlightened, know after the celebration of thy son's birth; Target and TRU will stick on XD the tag of red. For the tag of red makeith the cost go down and more XD can be taken back to thy house of XD forever!

V2 MAN · Post by **V2 MAN** » Thu Aug 16, 2007 10:48 am

Col.Pickle · Post by **Col.Pickle** » Thu Aug 16, 2007 5:51 pm

We need XD hymns!

Razor17019 · Post by **Razor17019** » Thu Aug 16, 2007 7:49 pm

Shall we gather at the Walmart
The beautiful, the beautiful Walmart
Shall we gather at the Walmart
To find all the wonderful XD

STUKA · Post by **STUKA** » Thu Aug 16, 2007 9:58 pm

Col.Pickle wrote:We need XD hymns!

incredible idea

VMF115 · Post by **VMF115** » Thu Aug 16, 2007 11:08 pm

Stuka I think you need to edit this book,,,it's getting big...

VMF115 · Post by **VMF115** » Thu Aug 16, 2007 11:13 pm

VMF115 wrote:The book of walton's creation chapter 2

In the beginning before there was XD

Before XD was created the lord Sam Walton spoke to his loyal followers “Go forth and multiply the stores so that there are many and so they may crush the heathen stores and become the alpha omega discount stores in all of the lands.

The he created the first of his creations the WM taskmaster who oversees all in the store and he said “Go forth and crush the merchant’s sprit” by offering items at a gigantic discount that the other much smaller lords of commerce could not compete with. ” He commanded to his WM taskmasters.

Then he created the assistant taskmaster who’s job was to enforce the laws of lord Walton and to carry out the tasks created by the WM task master.

After that Lord Walton created the department taskmasters who’s job was to follow the laws set forth by Lord Walton and to carry out the tasks set fourth by the WM Taskmaster and the assistant Task masters, for they are mindless creatures that know nothing.

The lord Walton then need a way to collect taxes and then created the WM Tax collector
Whose job was to bring capital in to the land of WM, don’t ask them for anything for they are imbeciles.

Then the Lord Walton created the task laborer they are the lowest in the hierarchy and are mindless creatures, don’t ask them for they are imbeciles.

Then the Lord Walton created the simple creature whose job was too greet the worshipers of Lord Walton, don’t ask them for anything for they are imbeciles.

Then the lord Walton realizing that he created a large empire that he could not exert control over.
He then created the district taskmaster who was over seen by the regional taskmaster, their obligation was to over see all the creatures that Lord Walton created and to make sure that they follow the law of Walton

Lord Walton realizing he was not quit done, then created the chaotic distribution of merchandise centers this was done to please his sense of humor.

He then proclaimed I am the lord my ways shale not is questioned
He then relaxed.

Updated

Col.Pickle · Post by **Col.Pickle** » Fri Aug 17, 2007 9:20 am

[quote="STUKA
incredible idea[/quote] Thanks!

VMF115 · Post by **VMF115** » Fri Jul 11, 2008 10:35 pm

The book of Roy

The land of XD has become destitute the followers all have given up and lost interest but the prophet Zachary says there will be plenty, but before we will have plenty there will be poverty of XD.

Zachary proclaimed that Roy the taskmaster was working hard to please the Rulers of 21st century toys,

Those that preach the demise of XD are not true believers of XD, those that preach the demise will be branded non believers and scowled at. But fear not there faith will be restored and the will eat XD panzers.

The Phantom the Mitch the Mig the King and the flak are all creations from Roy that will be pleasing to all the creatures, for with out Roy there will be no XD.

I have no Inside info on 21st century toys.

VMF115 · Post by **VMF115** » Fri Jul 11, 2008 10:47 pm

Jason of the Argonauts from the land of Admiral toys proclaims that XD is not dead and we will be overwhelmed with XD joy , for ye cabinets and shelves will be overflowing with XD.

Jason speaks that the dauntless and the spade will be with us, but when asked When and how long Jason speaks says it will be hear when it gets here,,have faith that these things that I promised will be made.

MG-42 · Post by **MG-42** » Fri Jul 11, 2008 11:09 pm

* A Good Book ! *

... or "The Good Book of XD" ,.. I must say. *

........... Good Stuff ! ! ! ... "A true Classic".

Mitch v MG

STUKA · Post by **STUKA** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 3:57 pm

bumpeth

VMF115 · Post by **VMF115** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 4:35 pm

STUKA wrote:bumpeth

You need to add the book of Roy and the book of Jason.

STUKA · Post by **STUKA** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 8:21 pm

added

olifant · Post by **olifant** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 9:48 pm

Olifant's first go at prophecy:

Book of WM Exodus

Now these are the children of Roy: Battle of the Bulge, D-Day, Vietnam, Korean air war and even the inglorius Platoon. For many ages they resided in the House of Sam, were fruitful, and multiplied, and waxed exceedingly mighty; and the land was filled with them. Life was good.

Then Sam looked to Roy, and said unto him that the Children of Roy worked not hard enough for him and must be put into chains. Roy attempted to intercede on his children's behalf, only to be placed in bondage himself, held by the twin Demons "Profit" and "Inventory Turns" in slavery.

So the House of Sam made their lives bitter with hard bondage, held alone without their brothers, or overcrowded with too many brothers, outside of their homes. Pallets in the food aisles, top shelves above Lucifer's Homies, and finally in the clearance aisles. No longer were they fruitful, and multiplied, and waxed exceedingly mighty. Where once they were mighty servants now the mindless minions of Sam knew not of them. Now choked with dust, sent among the realm of Sam with no rhyme or reason, the Children of Roy withered.

Sam's demons were still not sated, and Sam cast out Roy and his children. Only a few were to remain, and those must live by Sam's harsh rule: only the children of Lt. Odheim and Pvt. Osternoh could live in the west, and then only by the case load; only the children of Platoon could live in the east, and then only by the case load. They must multiply, but not fruitfully, but rather like locusts, not allowing room for any new Children of Roy to come forth.

Roy and his youngest Children wandered the world wide web, trying to find a home. No longer were they plentiful, and slowly did they now multiply. Twin pack children were born, but learned to hide in this harsh land. Some common children known as Panther and Tiger were born but the cost of their painful deliveries rose with only the midwives profiting happily from their birth. Currently Roy holds the hands of the King Tiger and '88, fearful that they too may be stillborn as their brothers Phantom, Mig-21 and B-25.

Other homes were such afflicted, as the Children of Mike had pains too. Long dangerous labors await the Sons of Zero, Sons of Falcon and Sons of Hornet. Even the great and wise Jason watches carefully over the slow growth of his Twin Sons, SBD and Spad.

But strong faith is an earmark of the House of XD, and Roy, and Mike and Jason and all of their Children will once again bask in the glory, so it is written, so it shall be.

Razor17019 · Post by **Razor17019** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 10:42 pm

Olifant, XD Prophet of the Great North West, sayth many truths and is held in great regard by his fellow breathern of the mighty XD. Thou has blessed the Book of Walton and all those that read of it's powerful word.

Razor17019 · Post by **Razor17019** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:17 pm

"In the land of XD, a Stranger and his kind sprang up, like a well of fresh water to nurish the land. The stranger not only inhabited the garden of Sam, but began to sprout and grow amoungst the gardens of Geoffrey, Tar-get and the Mart of K. The Stranger and his kind were like the mustard seed small and few, but grew into a mighty nation.
Some followers of the might XD and Sam began to abandon their ways for the Stranger and his kind. The stranger brandished both a whip and a wand of power. The Stranger only hated two things: snakes and Nazis.
There was great rejoicing in the land of XD as the Stranger and his kind were able to merge with many kinds of XD that had come before him. His modes of transportation were also used to move the great sea of XD kind onto their endless journey across the planes of dio-rama. Many of the believers cried out to the great maker of the Stranger - Hasbro, why has thou given us a cycle without a sideth of car? We asketh only this question as the father of the Stranger has nothing to ride in. Lo, how can we maketh great dios in thy honor without the sideth of car? Would thou grantith us a burger without thy fries?"

(Many believers are still asking Royth, Jasonth and Miketh for a warthog of the 10th of A)

Small Scale Military Headquarters

The Book Of Walton

* The Good Book of XD